A Very Bad (But True) Day

Once upon a time there was a girl who decided to go to law school. Everything was fine until about a month into school. Then she had a very bad day.

It all began the night before when she began feeling homesick and lonely. She didn't sleep well and woke up really tired. "Oh well," she said. "I'll go enrich my life with knowledge." So she went to school.

Upon arriving the girl decided to start her computer. Her first class was the one with the scary mean professor who made the girl want to cry every time he walked in the room. "I bet I get called on today," she told her friend. She wanted to be prepared, so she powered up her laptop to review her notes.

As she reached under the table to plug her computer in, she must have had her fingers too close to the prongs because she electrocuted herself. Since both her hands were under the desk, the electricity traveled up both her arms. The people sitting around the girl said, "Oh my! What was that noise?" but the girl merely said, "Don't worry! I'm just jump starting my day!"

While the girl began loosening her stiff, electrocuted fingers in preparation for the speed typing required to get through the class, she told her neighbor, "Today is definitely the day I get called on by the scary professor."

When class started, the professor walked into the room and sat down. Sure enough, he called the girl's name. This professor made all his students stand up when called on, and so the girl stood, despite the fact that she wanted nothing more than to be allowed to jump out the 5th story window. When the professor asked the girl a question, a series of very bad things began. First the girl realized that she didn't really hear what the question was, but thought she had an idea of where the question was going. Panicking, she looked down at her book and, instead of asking the scary professor to repeat the question, began reading aloud the first thing she saw highlighted.

"Why, no!" said the professor. The girl was amazed at how a man with a beard that extended halfway to his bellybutton over his Hawaiian shirts could be so intimidating. While the professor told her how utterly and completely wrong she was, the girl wondered if floral prints were a necessary element to success in the field of law.

"My oh my, that was quite embarrassing," the girl said after class was over. "What?" asked a classmate. "I was busy playing online poker!" The girl could not decide if he was being nice or if he was really stupid. She opted for the first since her hands were still sore from the electrocution and her stomach was ready to jump out of her throat from embarrassment. She needed something good.

It was only 10:15 am, but the girl managed to scrape through the rest of the day at school only occasionally fighting tears of frustration and anger. "After all," thought the girl, "I may be getting all of my bad luck out of my way for the rest of the year!" Optimism, the girl was to learn, is not to be trusted.

The girl anxiously raced home after her final class. "Whew!" exclaimed the girl. "I can't believe I made it through the day!" She sat down on her couch and began reading for classes. For no reason at all, the girl felt compelled to look up. As she did she noticed that her ceiling looked quite damp. "Oh my!" cried the girl as she finally gave up. "The men who have been replacing my roof have done poorly! My ceiling is leaking!"
The girl put her books away and decided to become a bum. Donations are payable to Melanie.